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Plateaued

“I had a vision of you at age seventy-two.”  “What?” Cooper and CeCe were sitting in the backyard watching their respective daughters, Lily and Anya, play at the bottom of the sloping hill. They sat in Adirondack chairs while their Aperol spritzes collected sweat on the glass. Aside from the girls’ squealing, no one had…

Megalohydrothalassophobia, or Something

I can’t pinpoint the onset of my giant underwater statue phobia, but I suspect it crystallized ten years ago, around the first time I saw a photo of a massive Jesus submerged somewhere in Key Largo. Christ of the Abyss, I’d later learn it was called. I’d originally found it in a Buzzfeed article, back…

Five Poems

Lit crit with the speedo architect aw god what a narky bitch
When lambo, buy the dip
two suicides off the Williamsburg Bridge

Deadass

We weren’t close. Just basement cousins. Shared trauma, seasonal allergies, and a group text nobody knows how to leave. Holiday filler. Whispered commentary while the adults got loud in that Midwestern way where you couldn’t tell if someone was drunk or dying. We used to mimic their laughter until we choked. Trying to make sure…

Let’s Start from an Earlier Block of Save Data

I remember the first time we played Minecraft. Years ago. We spawned in a barren snow biome. Resources were scarce. We needed food, so we killed some cows and pigs for raw meat. Then we spent a long time walking before we found a tree to punch for some wood. It was nighttime by then,…

The Last, Great Letter-Writer

My friend Shadow wrote me a note the first time I took care of his dog, Apple. I’ve kept it as a valuable reference, and also like a wartime letter from the battlefield. Here it is in its entirety: Thank you in advance for taking such good care of Apple. While dogs remain a popular…

Grant-funded Missing Men

As you all know, with the help of our generous donors, I have been studying the relationship between men, rats, hope, and arrogance, and have prepared a general overview of my findings. Before I go on, I’d like to acknowledge that this presentation should serve solely as a summary and not as a comprehensive disclosure…

Diaries

Sam was older than me and one of her nipples was pierced and I did whatever she said. I was barely a person, more of an ill-fit together explosion of hair, limbs and teeth spilling all over, my body a gangly nest of messiness. We had met through friends of friends, she found me clinging…

A Ghost Like You

I knew Paula was lying about the way Bruce had died. She claimed he’d become so depressed that he retreated to his bed and did not eat or drink for many days. When his friends’ calls went unanswered, one of them went to check on him and found him barely conscious, lying in urine-soaked sheets. As we spoke, I heard the line crackle.

The People’s Champ

We called Kofi the People’s Champ because he was the only manager at the Vide Hotel that didn’t care about us drinking on the job and, in fact, would sometimes hit joints with us in the bell closet.

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