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Grant-funded Missing Men

As you all know, with the help of our generous donors, I have been studying the relationship between men, rats, hope, and arrogance, and have prepared a general overview of my findings. Before I go on, I’d like to acknowledge that this presentation should serve solely as a summary and not as a comprehensive disclosure…

Diaries

Sam was older than me and one of her nipples was pierced and I did whatever she said. I was barely a person, more of an ill-fit together explosion of hair, limbs and teeth spilling all over, my body a gangly nest of messiness. We had met through friends of friends, she found me clinging…

A Ghost Like You

I knew Paula was lying about the way Bruce had died. She claimed he’d become so depressed that he retreated to his bed and did not eat or drink for many days. When his friends’ calls went unanswered, one of them went to check on him and found him barely conscious, lying in urine-soaked sheets. As we spoke, I heard the line crackle.

The People’s Champ

We called Kofi the People’s Champ because he was the only manager at the Vide Hotel that didn’t care about us drinking on the job and, in fact, would sometimes hit joints with us in the bell closet.

The Bee Charmer

There’s a woman in town who performs healing with a net. I pay to watch the show, front row, metal folding chair creaking in the spring grass, half-brown, half-waking. She sets the scene like a traveling circus— a communion of strangers searching for something together at the edge of the woods—bodies watching body brave contortion,…

Ben Wiley Burns in Hell

When we were freshmen you told me all the cool kids take flowers out to Carrie White’s grave on the night of prom. (The grave belonged to some poor woman named Carolyn White, but it was close enough.) Senior year I ordered a bouquet just like Sue’s from the movie: red carnations, yellow daisies, baby’s…

Like a Tsunami Barreling Toward the Shore

The ultimatum that Will’s fiancé, Leslie, had given him wasn’t sincere, and he knew this. Really, it was more of a nudge, an encouragement to push past whatever the fuck it was which rendered him incapable of accomplishing such a rudimentary task. Shit, even small children with their limitless imaginations and even grander terrors have…

The Oldest King of the Coast

The oldest of the King boys became a kind of murderer, but most people weren’t surprised. We grew up on the Texas coast, roaming beaches and loping through waist deep saltwater—shooting birds or gigging fish, playing with death the way students fidget a pencil. We went to the same school but weren’t friends. I always…

Cante Jondo

“I want something from her, but I don’t know what it is. I guess that means sex.” – Joey Comeau, “Patricia” The other night one of the women asked the rest of us, “Have you ever had a crush on a character in a book?” I have not. I know some people have crushes on…

The Organization is Here to Support You

(An excerpt from the novel The Organization is Here to Support You, forthcoming from Weirdpunk) We live and work in the units, and the office people live and work in the office. It used to be that when it was time for the members to come evaluate applications, we would all go to the office…

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